Wednesday, August 10, 2005

shirts i have worn, with a digression-type introduction

This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I couldn't help but notice that I had the Jackson 5 song "I Want You Back" in my head. It was apparent because I was singing "OH! baby give me one more chaaaance!" while brushing my hair, which isn't really typical morning behavior for me. This got me to thinking about when I was a kid and Michael Jackson was cool. Remember that? When Michael Jackson was cool? (And he had a face?) Ah, history.

Anyway, back when Thriller came out and Michael Jackson was cool, I used to listen to "Beat It" on my record player. I had one that played 45s, because yes, I was cool like that, did you ever have any doubt? Also, when Michael Jackson was cool, I had this orange t-shirt that said "Thriller" on it in silver sparkly letters, which was THE COOLEST T-SHIRT EVER, and as I was sitting here a few minutes ago, listening to the Jackson 5, I got to thinking about this t-shirt, and wondered if I had any pictures of it.

So I had to dig through my history, as recorded on film, and found that alas, I do not have any pictures of THE COOLEST T-SHIRT EVER, but I do have some pictures of me wearing some pretty quality shirts, so I am pleased to present to you...

(drumroll please)

Shirts I Have Worn: A History

dad's cowboy shirt

Let's begin with this one. Though I have been known to complain about my dad's parenting skills (but we're cool now), I can't ever say anything bad about the man's sense of style -- he's quite a snappy dresser. When I was a kid, he had this blue cowboy shirt, that, even though it wasn't orange and didn't say "Thriller" in silver sparkly letters, was pretty damn cool. Cowboys are cool, my dad is cool, and the shirt was cool. As I'm sure you'll agree.

Moving right along...

i love how i'm sporting the knee socks here

i love how i'm sporting the knee socks here

I wore that shirt a lot, but I really think the best part of this picture is the fact that I'm wearing knee socks. And for the record, yes, I do still make that ridiculous face.

yeah.

Next up we have the Esprit sweater that I lived in when I was 11. Looking at it now, I'm not quite sure why I thought this was such a great choice for a sweater to live in, but whatever, I was 11. Also, when I was 11, I had a crush on this boy named Steve who was 13, and I've always had a thing for older men (except, of course, when I don't have a thing for older men). I'm better about this than I used to be, but when I have a crush on someone, I have a tendency of blushing like an idiot fool, and so I was constantly hiding my face in the really itchy yellow turtleneck part of this sweater. I remember this. Anyway, I'm making a cake in this picture, and hey, weren't those beads a nice touch?

hippie.

This shirt comes from my dirty hippie phase. I wore a lot of embroidered things during this part of my life, and I had really, really long hair. I also had a fabulous tan. Check me out. The reason I had such a fabulous tan was because this was one of the summers I worked as a landscaper in (are you ready for this?) the municipal cemetery. That was one of the greatest jobs ever -- I drove around in an orange truck, set sprinklers, retrieved sprinklers, and tried to come up with ways to get into water fights with my co-workers when it was really hot outside. I didn't know how good I had it back then, I swear. Anyway, this picture also features my good friend Missy (the twin sister of my often-mentioned friend Stacy) and was taken before we headed out to a Sioux reservation in South Dakota for a week of service.

Nixon.

You can't really see the shirt that well in this picture, because I still have my coat and scarf on, but it was a blue paisley sheer thing. This photograph was taken in my apartment in Venice that came complete with lots of posters of fashion ads, plastic beach furniture, and the coolest thing ever -- a pull-out dresser bed. That's right. A bed. In a dresser. Try to beat that. I dare you. This was also the night of my first wedding anniversary with my wifey, Emily.* The traditional gift for the first wedding anniversary is paper, and our other roommate gave us a roll of toilet paper wrapped in about 50 shopping bags. What a gal. For the photograph, I thought it would be good to wear the toilet paper, so there you go. This was also the night that I ate part of this guy Gianluca's sandwich, that he set on the table for a second, and when he came back and noticed that part of his sandwich was missing, I said, "Oh, my bad. You bought that for you, huh? Here, have a thousand lire."

the black sweater

I got this sweater on sale for $10 about five years ago, and I think it was the best purchase I ever made, because I'm still wearing it. I mean, I haven't been wearing it nonstop for the past five years, but it's still wearable, and so yeah. A good $10 purchase, anyway. This picture was taken in Krakow, Poland, and I'm with a girl named Ewa in a hotel bathroom, I believe. You never know when you're going to be particularly photogenic, I guess. This was the day I spent too much money on Chanel lipstick (Dragon, a particularly fabulous shade, and yes, I'm wearing it in the picture, but this is about shirts, not lipstick). This was also the day I decided I was going to be in love with this Polish boy that I no longer talk to, but my heart still stops a little bit every time I come across a photograph of him -- he was just that ridiculously good looking and charming and funny, and I'm sure he still is.

So there you have it. Even more pointless information about me. Awesome, huh?

Yeah, you don't have to answer that.

*Okay, in case I haven't told this story to you before, here goes (and if I have, sorry... deal):
I'm in Renaissance Women's Lit. with Emily, and there's this group doing a project on Early Modern wedding vows. They wanted to do a wedding ceremony in class... but come on. Guys don't take classes called "Renaissance Women's Lit.," except for this one guy, Chad, who was a frat boy in the class to pick up girls. So, when it was announced that we'd be having a wedding in class, Emily's hand shot up in the air, and she said "I want to get married!" But then she looked behind her and saw Chad, and then looked at me and said "I don't want to marry Chad, so come on, Jamelah. We're getting hitched." (A romantic proposal if ever there was one.) So we got married in English class, and we've called each other "wifey" ever since.