Wednesday, April 06, 2005

let's talk about sex, except not really

Today, I was checking my e-mail, and I received a message from the people who send me my daily horoscope. It had the subject line Are You Meant to be Sexually? which is pretty great because it rhymes and could be turned into a song. (Are you meant to beeeeeeeeeee ... da da da ... sex-u-a-llyyyyy ... da da da daaaaaaaaaa, etc. -- it's the opening number for Jamelah: The Musical which, if you weren't aware of this, is a totally great show with liberal use of jazz hands.) Anyway, naturally, I had to open this e-mail, and I was greeted with this:

FOREVER!

COULD YOU TWO REALLY STAY IN BED FOREVER? What a disturbing question. Why would I want to stay in bed forever? I mean, I've never tried such a thing, but I think that might be because eventually (ev-en-tu-a-lllllyyyyyyyyyy ... da da da) other things become important, like eating lunch and showering (not simultaneously (sim-ul-tan-e-ous-llllyyyyyyy -- okay, I'll stop), or anything). For example. But I don't want you to get me wrong. Beds are nice for all sorts of things, like sleeping, and, um, you know, other stuff, I guess. Yeah. However, if I were to make a point in a remotely succinct way, I guess I'd have to say that staying in bed forever doesn't sound like a good idea so much as it sounds like a way to, well, convalesce. That's not really romantic at all, because I imagine it would get really smelly (sme-eh-hul-lllyyyyyy -- see? I didn't stop) after awhile. And smelly isn't hot. Usually. But that is not a point on which I wish to digress.

In fact, I don't really have a point on which I wish to digress, except (and I suppose this is marginally related enough to be a digression, if that even makes sense) tonight I said to Caryn, "I don't want drums to be my baby daddy," which made sense in context, kind of, but when taken out of context, it takes on a tone of wisdom that makes me think that not wanting to have children sired by drums is an admirable goal for any girl to have.

On that note, I'm going to put this post out of its misery and call it a day. Goodnight.