jamelah.net

Thursday, March 24, 2005

speaking of commercials...
(and other stories)


About a week ago, when I was watching what may very well be the best show on television (that's right, I'm talking about What Not To Wear), I happened to be paying attention to the latest T.G.I. Friday's commercial. You know, the one where there are three guys sitting at a table and the sizzling platters get them all hot and bothered? Well, I noticed that the guy who says "I'm going in" at the end is the same guy I had a pretty embarrassing crush on during the first six weeks of my college career. What can I say? I was a freshman, he wasn't. We were in a play together. He borrowed one of my thrift-store-chic shirts to wear as part of his costume, and he never gave it back. And now, every time I see this commercial, I get embarrassed, because I'm forced to remember what a helpless nerd I was.

Of course, I'm still pretty much a helpless nerd, but these days, I have much better hair. And I don't wear combat boots with everything. So there's that.

Anyway, I don't know why, but whenever I think of one completely embarrassing crush, my brain decides to conjure up all of my completely embarrassing crushes. Hurrah for humiliating mental associations, I suppose. And since I'm all about sharing the love shame, I am going to present to you my top three. It'll be fun. I think. Maybe not, but in any case, I'm already blushing.

1. The Boss -- My senior year of high school, I worked as a typesetter for a newspaper. This job basically involved me showing up, typing things for hours, and then going home. The work itself was kind of boring, but the job was lots of fun because the people I worked with were cool. This made me realize that it's who you work with, and not necessarily the work itself that can make a job great. Anyway, I'm not entirely sure what this guy's title was (or maybe I've forgotten), but he had his own office, he wore ties to work, and every time he was nearby, my typo count increased exponentially, probably because I'd get so nervous I would hit the keys next to the keys I was supposed to be hitting, which made everything completely unreadable and I'd always have to go back and start from scratch. In his presence, I became a tongue-tied buffoon, constantly dropping things on the floor and tripping over my own feet. And then there was the blushing. I've gotten better about this as I've gotten older, but I'm still quite a blusher. This basically involves my face turning so red and hot that I think my head might explode at any given second. It's fun.

2. The Student -- I met him one night at a coffee house where I had just finished reading three maudlin poems about an entirely different boy. I went up to the counter to get some water, and there he stood. We ended up talking for 45 minutes about life and God and everything else, and he was brilliant and intense and so incredibly good looking that it was almost frightening. Whenever we saw each other, we'd fall into these long conversations about anything other than the fact that I just wanted to jump him right then. He always left me in a daze, and I couldn't pay attention to anything. This proved dangerous once, when I was in a stairwell and I got hit in the face with a door as it was opened by a large football player in an extreme hurry. Fortunately, I didn't bruise. About a year later, I heard from a mutual friend that this guy was studying to become a priest. Nice.

3. The All-American -- I try to forgive myself for this, because I was 13 at the time, but it's pretty ridiculous. See, he was a senior in high school, and I was in eighth grade. That, combined with the fact that he had a girlfriend, should've tipped me off, but I was a boy-crazy tart. We went to the same church. I followed him around like a puppy, and I called him on the phone every day after school. No, really, I did. Every. Single. Day. The time he said, "hold on, I just got out of the shower and I need to get dressed" will be forever imprinted on my memory. He was my first real, all-consuming crush, and I don't think I've ever had one that intense ever again. Why he put up with me, I'll never really know, but I'm grateful that he was easy on me and never told me to shut up with that incessant giggling and go away. I don't remember how I got over him, but knowing myself, the answer is probably that I developed a stupid crush on someone else. In any case, I see him pretty regularly, with his wife and his kids, and he's still always very nice to me, even though I'm always embarrassed and wondering, when he smiles and says hello, whether he's also remembering how ridiculous I was.

So there you have it. My top three (with bonus T.G.I. Friday's material).

Ah, youth.





posted by jamelah
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