jamelah.net

Sunday, July 20, 2003

movies i watched recently, and an aside

okay, just like i said i would, i went and saw johnny english on saturday. it made me want to kill myself. now, i'm not going to go into detail about why the director of this film needs to be beaten soundly with his own shoes, but i will say these three things: natalie imbruglia = bad idea, even if john malkovich's accent was that bad on purpose it was painful, and rowan atkinson just wasn't that funny which is odd because generally i think he's great. sure, there were moments, but overwhelmingly... yeah, i wanted to kill myself to make the torture stop.

okay, on to jerry seinfeld: comedian. i had no idea what this was, but i watched the dvd (yes, i finally own a dvd player) and ended up being really glad i did. it's a documentary about what it takes to create a good stand up act, and i have a newfound respect for comedians. this doesn't just show one joke after another, rather, it's about the work that goes into being funny. it's not just about jerry seinfeld either... though i think it would help to appreciate his humor before watching it. i don't have much else to say, but i did enjoy watching this.

and finally, i saw 25th hour, which is a spike lee film starring edward norton. i have mixed feelings about spike lee, but i think this was one of the best i've seen of his. it follows edward norton's character on his last day before going to prison for seven years. some really good acting (the scene in the bathroom mirror works almost like spoken-word poetry) and interesting use of post-9/11 new york city as a character/metaphor. there were a couple of times the movie felt long, but generally, i thought it was well done. (i think maybe, if i let my thoughts about it settle for a few days, it might rank with the pianist as far as movies i've seen recently go. besides, philip seymour hoffman rocks.

now for the aside: i've said some things about this in the past about how i'm going to be the crazy old lady with the broom, yelling at the neighbor kids to get out of her yard. thing is, i don't think i have to wait to get old. let me expand. my driveway is the coolest driveway on my street, because it's very steep and if you're six years old on a bicycle, then nothing's cooler than starting out on top of a hill and rolling down it, picking up incredible speed without even having to pedal. i know. i was a six year old with a bike once too.

anyway, yesterday after returning from the movies, i was in a bad mood. (spending money to see something that's supposed to make me laugh but instead makes me wish for death just so i don't have to watch it anymore seems to have that effect on me.) and we have these neighbor kids, see. they seem to think that our use of the driveway for driving our car in and out is an imposition on their playtime. all very well and good. i don't really care. except i was sitting in my room thinking about... something. i don't know. i sit in my room and think sometimes. and i looked out of my window and the kids were running all around my front yard. don't they have yards of their own? why is my yard better than their respective yards, huh? and then i thought, "fuck, they're going to trample my marigolds." i was all mad and i had to change my shirt (sometimes when i get angry i compulsively change my clothes) and i thought about how easy it would be for me to walk out of my front door and start screaming at them to get off my lawn.

kids are so noisy. now, i think kids are great and all... really. i do. but do they have to be so noisy with all this delight over running and playing stupid games in the summer sun? i don't think so. plus, they're going to trample my flowers. i love my flowers. they bring simple beauty to my otherwise pointless existence. i would be very upset if a bunch of kids with yards of their own destroyed them because they couldn't go play in their yards.

jesus christ. do you see what i mean? i'm totally sincere about all of this. it's not going to take age and widowhood (ha. like i'm ever getting married.) and many many houseplants to make me into this grumpy woman who scares all the kids in her neighborhood. i'm already there! i'm on the edge! i am THISCLOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my worst nightmare is coming true. kill me now.





posted by jamelah
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