jamelah.net

Sunday, November 24, 2002

who doesn't love pictures of children having fun?

people who are heartless bastards, that's who. yeah.

anyway, here's how i spent my friday night. i was dreading spending 12 hours at work after a regular workday, but this was really fun. seriously.





posted by jamelah
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Thursday, November 21, 2002

right, ok

i'm really over it. but this is hilarious.





posted by jamelah
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Wednesday, November 20, 2002

p.s.

everyone but those five or eight people that i don't hate need to bite me. appointments can be set up between the hours of 1 and 3 p.m. on weekdays, please call my office to set up a meeting and to get any necessary directions.

blah.





posted by jamelah
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why i hate all but 5 people on the face of the earth right now*

because someone apparently put a big dose of "go completely crazy-retarded" powder in the water supply, people appear to have gone completely mental. i'd be specific, but what's the point? anyway, i am completely amazed at the fact that i actually am the devil. i used to joke about it, but i really thought i was joking.

but you know what? i wasn't. i am satan.

this must be why my favorite color is red.

so.... yeah. i've learned over the past day that i am consistently rude and offensive and that i shouldn't be allowed to breathe. and i'm so mad and confused about the whole thing that i can't even really put it into words. so i'm going to give up. because i can do that.

i accept it. i'm the devil. so let's all just move on from here, shall we?

* okay, i may like more than five. in fact, i can think of about.... 8.





posted by jamelah
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Saturday, November 16, 2002

ok, truthfully

i don't chuckle. so the post below this is a lie. i either laugh, or i don't. sometimes i do this half-assed "oh, ha" thing, but usually... no. okay, shutting up now. have a nice day.





posted by jamelah
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ah, sweet, sweet irony

today, i got a pop up ad about stopping telemarketing calls. as if pop ups aren't as annoying as telemarketers. (and i've never had a telemarketer cause my computer to freeze.) i know, i know, it's not as ironic as, say, a pop up ad about stopping pop up ads, but still... it made me chuckle.





posted by jamelah
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Friday, November 15, 2002

LAZYASSES!!!

ok, seriously. now i am lazy. i like to be lazy. i like to procrastinate like the crazy mofo i am, and then do everything in a last minute adrenaline rush. because that's the kind of girl i am.

but i'm not so lazy that i let it stand in the way of me receiving money.

see, i sit here all day on pay day handing out paychecks to department employees. it's a tough job, yadda yadda. the thing i don't get is that there are two guys who have no jobs or commitments other than the few hours a week they spend working for us. and yet they take forever to come in and pick up their paychecks. like, seriously... this guy just called me, "hey, jamelah. i was just checking to see if you were there."

"yeah, i'm here."

"you gonna be there until one?"

"i guess, but i have to take something over to the central administration office in the junior high, and at some point i'm going to go to lunch. can you come by now?"

and he couldn't because he wasn't ready to go anywhere. at 12:30 p.m. to which i say, yes. i understand. lazy. right. but it's money! hard-earned cash! dude, put on a pair of jeans and get your ass up here and pick up your paycheck. seriously.

come on.





posted by jamelah
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Wednesday, November 13, 2002

futile

i wake up. and all is silent. so i sit down and play the piano. working it out with beethoven. i have all of the first movement of für elise memorized, so i play it repetitiously, instead of taking the challenge of learning the rest of the piece. sometimes i get so frustrated. and i wander around my living room. and there's nothing to do with myself. so i play the piano. over and over. e, e flat, e, e flat, e, b, d, c, a. and then the rest. and then again. and again. until my fingers get tired.

but i still don't feel any better. so i start in on moonlight sonata, but the triplets frustrate me, so i give up and start playing für elise again. and then i'm angry. so i take a shower.

and i wish i'd just stayed in bed.





posted by jamelah
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well, fuck me

yeah. not really.





posted by jamelah
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Monday, November 11, 2002

a day off...

oh, i've been waiting for a day off for months. and now that i've finally had one, i have to say that it's been every bit as wonderful as i thought it would be. it's not that i did anything special... i really didn't. i mean, i took my grandma to kmart and i bought some envelopes. and i went to lunch with my mother and the waitress did not give me diet pepsi, even though i ORDERED diet pepsi... and though i've brushed my teeth since then, i can still taste the sugar in my mouth. i hate sugar. and i have a headache.*

anyway... other than that... it's been a good day. yeee ha.

(as an aside, i somehow just accidentally signed myself into icq just now... i never even use icq anymore... and some person named emma is contacting me. whatever. i still don't believe in talking to strangers. or something. sorry emma.)

okay, i've got some work to do. but it's okay, not horrible work. so i feel good about it.

*note to self: do not try to swallow six tylenol all at once, or they'll get stuck in your esophagus and you'll be standing in your living room in agony, waiting for peristalsis to work its magic. pace yourself, sport.





posted by jamelah
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Sunday, November 10, 2002

update!

i thought an exclamation point was a good idea.

what have i been up to? well, i finished my redesign... except now i hate this page. but blogger templates are such a pain in the ass i can't seem to make myself work on this to get it to look the way i picture it in my mind. maybe i'll do that later.... or not.

otherwise i've been reading. i'm onto raymond carver, what we talk about when we talk about love. i guess it's nice that i should read him, as people have compared me to him a couple of times. he says so much with so little, and i admire that. i honestly don't know how much i write like him, though... eh. anyway.

i don't think i've worked on my 100 words project at all this week. blah. it was a busy, stressful week, and i haven't really felt like it. maybe i'll work on that later. if i remember.

i decided to try out workshopping some of my stories at zoetrope, but when i signed up for an account, i discovered that they assign you ten stories and make you read and critique at least five stories before you can read critiques of your own work. and the critiques all have to be thoughtful and helpful... and at least 100 words (which annoys me because i can't just go, "um yeah. nice." and call it done). out of the stories i've been assigned, i've been able to read two all the way to the end without getting bored and giving up. i'm not sure how this is going to work out for me, but whatever. i'm determined to get through the initial five so that i can post and get critiqued. after that, i have to critique at least five more stories before i can post another one. so much work...

it's very gray today. i think i still want to be in bed.





posted by jamelah
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Friday, November 08, 2002

yeah

i'm working on this... i'll probably keep changing as the day goes on, but eventually i'll be done and i can leave it alone.





posted by jamelah
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ummm

yeah, go me and my love of messing with things. this is just a test.





posted by jamelah
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Wednesday, November 06, 2002

obsessive

for the past two days, i've been obsessively checking my email. for no good reason. i never have any.





posted by jamelah
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split pea soup

i've finally identified the smell emanating through city hall. split pea soup. i've been known to eat split pea soup on occasion, but now the scent is getting nauseating and i wish i could make it go away.

i found out this morning that my boss was here until 3 a.m. waiting for the final tally on the election... hoping. and now he's here working. i admire him a great deal. even though i would like to yell at him and tell him go go home and take a nap.

(intermission: random. okay... so i just got a call from a telemarketer. here at work. trying to sell me a subscription to a newspaper. right, great. i said, "uh, yeah. this is a business." and she said, "oh it is? sorry." and excuse me... but how many people pick up the phone and say "albion recreation department. how can i help you?" is this a normal telephone salutation? grrrr.)

today is so bad... people keep telling me they're sorry. i've never been able to handle sympathy very well. i'm great with hostility... i mean, if someone's mean to me, i give it right back to them.... but when people are nice, i don't know how to handle it. what do you say, even? if someone says they're sorry... do you say, "okay" or "thank you" or "yeah" or... what? i really don't know.

i guess i'll chalk this up to one of my millions of issues.





posted by jamelah
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grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

i deleted the post i wrote this morning when i discovered the millage didn't pass and that i will be out of a job on january 1. it was just a rant. and ranting does no good. i will say that i am deeply saddened by the community's decision, not because of me... i mean, i'll find another job. i'll land on my feet. but for the kids that we work with. who need to know that someone cares about them. i care a whole hell of a lot about them. and it pisses me off that the community voted against them.

i am disappointed that this job is ending... it's definitely nice to have a job that allows me to feel good about myself... something more than working for a paycheck. but whatever. the people have spoken.

the people can kiss my ass....

but they've spoken.

anyway, i have to get ready to go to work. it's a strange feeling, like... what's the point? but i know i can't let myself feel that way. there's a lot to be done between now and january 1.





posted by jamelah
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Monday, November 04, 2002

the key to my chronic lateness

well actually, there are two keys. one is that i have a lot of hair and it takes a long time to dry. i'm not walking outside in this cold november weather with wet hair. because i like being warm. of course, i'm supposed to be at work in 20 minutes and am i drying my hair? no. i'm sitting here with a towel on my head. i'm so smart. uh huh.

the second is that i smoke too much. i always have to have a cigarette right before i leave to go anywhere... a weirdness of mine, i suppose. that one last cigarette eats up my time...and i'm always late.

of course, now that i've discovered these things, will i do anything about them? probably not. discovery is one thing, change is something else entirely.

in any case, i'd best go break out my blow dryer... gotta face monday sometime.





posted by jamelah
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Sunday, November 03, 2002

sunday...

um... i went to church again. i need to stop that. though, because i'm reading this book about jesus (see below post), i almost started cracking up during the communion time. which would've been highly inappropriate.

what else? i ate lunch. i read some more of the jesus book. i took a couple of stupid internet personality quizzes on a site maintained by someone who obviously has a hard time spelling.

and that's it.

it's sad that my job provides the majority of my material... because i don't seem to do anything but work. and when i'm not working i feel lost and alone. i think i need to do something about that.





posted by jamelah
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Saturday, November 02, 2002

saturday...

nothing much to report. i started reading the last days: the apocryphon of joe panther today. ah, nothin' like a good blasphemous story about jesus, set in late-nineties australia.

i also have been doing this 100 words thing for all of two days. so far, it's been, uh, neat.

i'm very sad today. and i hate wal mart.

and that is all.





posted by jamelah
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Friday, November 01, 2002

halloween, the belated story

last night, my department was sponsoring a halloween party for middle school kids. and since we in the recreation department are all about procrastination (read: waiting until the last minute to ask jamelah to go running around to find all the necessary elements for that day's event) yesterday was quite an adventure.

okay, so at approximately 3:30 p.m., i get a phone call from my boss. he asks in such an innocent way, "hey, do you think if you went to someplace like best buy, you would be able to find a cd for a limbo contest?"

i thought for a second, then replied, "rodney, are you asking me to go to best buy and find a cd for a limbo contest?"

"uhhh... yes."

"anything else?"

"you need to find a movie for the kids to watch. it can't be more than pg-13. bring it to my house when you're done."

"right, ok."

so i get in my little car and drive 20 minutes to jackson (as my town sucks and doesn't have a music store) and find a premium parking space at best buy. that's all very well and good... but as i'm walking through the aisles of their music section, (looking for polka music, as kate and i decided earlier that polka would be peppy enough for limbo), i realize that i am on an impossible mission. i ask the salesgirl: "hey, i'm trying to find something for limbo."

salesgirl acts like she knows exactly what i'm looking for, and walks over to the world music section. she picks up the "buena vista social club" cd. now, i have that cd and i like it, but it's not gonna do much for limbo. i pull my cell phone out of my pocket and call my boss and ask what he thinks i should get. and he goes, "oh, you know... calypso." so i tell the girl i need calypso music. she just gives me this blank look and says, "who would do calypso?" and of course, the only album i can think of that fits within the calypso genre is "harry belafonte: live at carnegie hall", which, yes, i listened to repeatedly when i was a child. i tell her, "harry belafonte. you know."

she goes, "who's harry belafonte?"

i realize that i am in hell somewhere around this point, and i tell her, "eh, nevermind... i'll just look around." she looks relieved and wanders off. i spy a gipsy kings cd and pick that up. i sorta like the gipsy kings, so i figure that'll be okay. i go get in line. it is about 90 miles long. i am annoyed. one guy has credit card trouble. the next guy doesn't get the discount he's supposed to get. blabbity blabbity. and after much waiting and disgruntlement, i finally get to pay for the cd and leave. hooray.

but the fun doesn't end there, folks. oh no.

so i get back in my car and drive in heinous traffic back toward home. i go to the video store, thinking, "okay, what's scary but still suitable to show to 11 year old kids? rated pg-13 or less?" so i finally break down and ask for help (i have issues with asking for help) and the video store guy (who is dressed like a ninja. this is so funny i want to die laughing, but i have to hold it together.) helps me locate a movie starring christopher lloyd, entitled "when good ghouls go bad."

fabulous.

so i get in my car and call my boss and say, "hey i've got a cd and a movie. where are you?" because this party is supposed to be happening at 6 p.m. and it's about 5:40 at that point.

"i'm still at my house. jamelah, my tire is flat. i had to call triple a. you come over and i'll give you the keys to the school so you can start getting things set up."

i hung up, slightly troubled. see, i wasn't supposed to work at this halloween party. i was supposed to have the night off. now, i didn't have any fabulous or fun plans, since i am a geek, and i was just pumped about the idea of not having to work on a thursday night for once. so i went to his house, and we talked about the party... i got kicked in the shin by his four-year-old, eric (who was dressed as batman), and then we went to the middle school.

i got someone to volunteer to call my cell phone pretending to be my mother telling me that i was desperately needed at home... but then...

rodney told me to go to the grocery store to buy some potato chips. yeah, okay. so when does my volunteer call me? while i'm in my car, that's right.

i bought the chips, then i went back to the party and told rodney that i had to go home and type the agenda for the next morning's meeting. he said "oh. okay."

and that was that.

the thing is, i feel guilty. i mean, i don't know when my boss sleeps... he has absolutely dedicated his life to the children in this town. and me? i get pissed because i get asked to help out and i don't feel like it.

yeah, i'm selfish.





posted by jamelah
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important thing to note:

i still haven't coded the archives correctly in my template so if you're absolutely dying to read all my posts from october sometime (though i really can't figure why you would) it'll be awhile. i can't figure out how to make it work, but i will.





posted by jamelah
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